A fellow blogger posted this picture. I read it and started to cry… I think I’ve been a bit on the emotional side today. But to say it hit home is putting it lightly. I guess recently I’ve been wondering if starting over in my thirties was the wrong decision? If I decided I wanted a family, am I already too old? What if I never figure it all out? What if I always feel like I’m just a little lost? Does anyone actually know what it feels like to not feel lost? Or is that just me? The anxiety bitch has been hanging around. Unfortunate she’s a bit loud and I’m just a bit too tired to ignore her today.
I just keep reminding myself it’s all an adjustment. It will get better. It will get easier. While there are a lot of things I hate about where I’m at, there are things I love. Those are things I need to keep reminding myself about.
I don’t always know if I’m making the right choices. I don’t always know if I’m fucking things up. Hindsight has always been 20:20. I guess the only thing I can do is to keep trying. To keep my chin up and move through the motions. Because there are still a lot of things I love. I need to remember that and I need to focus my attention there. On all the little things that make me happy.
All the reasons to smile.
It’s nice to be reminded that even if I don’t have all the answers, it’s okay. That it might all work out. That just because I’m starting over doesn’t mean I’m starting at the bottom. I’m not too old for anything. I’ve got this.
I’ve got this.
I’ve got this.
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Send that anxiety bitch packing! Truly, none of us know. We are all putting one foot in front of the other figuring this thing out. Truly, I don’t really believe figuring it out is the point anymore. I think fun and adventures and memories and vitality and minimal regrets- that is the point. Or mine at least. It’s never too late to free your dreams- unless your dead. Then it’s too late- hence the whole reinvention is a mutha! You are certainly not alone!
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Thank you my love. A good nights sleep and I already feel better. Sometimes she just gets so loud and it’s easy to doubt myself. Easy to wonder if I’m making some huge mistake. But you’re right. Life is too short and adventure and making memories should remain the name of the game. Xoxo
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I feel you 1bazillion percent!
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