I am reminded in recent days that life is precious. Life can be taken in a moment, and the loss ripples through all it touched. As another soul departs and breaks hearts in its wake, I’m left wondering how best to seize the day. How do we take these lessons of loss and turn them into ways to celebrate life and what it means to be human?
I never want to have regrets. Most of my regrets stem from not doing or saying something out of underlying fear. Fear has ruled my life in more ways than I’m even willing to admit publicly. Oh, the irony is not lost on me, dear reader. I think that every regret I have could somehow be brought to it’s most basic level: Fear.
I want to seize life. So I’ve been thinking about the ways to continue this venture. What are my needs, and how can I move past fear and embrace all of the things that scare me? Here are the things I will strive to do with every fiber in me.
I will strive to live without fear of what others think. Will openly love without fear of rejection. Those who live in fear don’t live at all. I want to say all of the things I feel and own my emotions without expectations. Not an easy feat, but I will try.
I want to love on the people in my life. I never want there to be a question of my affection or gratitude for the humans in my life. It is too delicate, and no one should question if they are loved. I hate playing games and have always sought to avoid them. I am who I am. When I express something, I’ve usually thought about it for far longer than any sane person. My choice of words is often careful. My mom taught me never to regret my words. They are the one thing in life you can’t take back.
Among all of the cascading emotional ownership, I will remember this one thing: I am the only thing in this life I can control. As long as I am my most honest self, I can be my best self.