On Mirandas

I was never in love with my name growing up. I always thought it made a better last name than first. It wasn’t until my twenties that I came around to embracing Miranda. I can remember a distinct conversation I had with my mother once upon a time.

“Why did you name me Miranda?”

My mother cocked her head, “Well, we were going to name you Ariel but I never found a middle name that I liked. But we watched this movie, The Tempest and I liked the name, Miranda. I even had a middle name for it. You just felt like a Miranda.”

I was aghast. “ARIEL?! You could have named me Ariel Mermaid!”

The Little Mermaid was my favorite movie as a child of four and five… and probably several years after even that. To this day, I don’t live it down. I will wear this moment proudly. I still love mermaids. And unicorns and all things fanciful. I don’t care what you think.

Today at work I had one of the funniest interactions with a student. I was looking at magnet on the whiteboard that read “Muranda” and I believe was referencing cheese? Anywho, not my magnet. When I said this, I pronounced it like my own name, Miranda.

The following ensued.

“Miranda… that sounds like a demon or ghost name. You know anyone who has the name Miranda is from some supernatural show and they’re gonna come at you like what the fuuuuuck!!!!!” one of my eleventh graders was on a roll. I wish I could say I wrote everything he said down, but I didn’t.

I laughed a lot.

“I’m not saying anyone who’s a Miranda is a demon or a jerk or anything but that’s just what it seems,” he finished.

I went to my desk in the middle of his all Miranda’s are demons soapbox extravaganza, grabbed my cell, and started to transcribe. I couldn’t pass up gold.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m writing this down because that’s my first name and the world needs to hear that you called me a demon.”

He starts to laugh uncontrollably and falls out of his seat. The kid is almost rolling on the floor in laughter. “I’m so sorry Ms. Levi! I mean aghhhhh! If you die, please don’t come back and haunt me. I know I’m a big guy but I’m not that big. I scare easy.” He finally composes himself and then panic strikes his face. “Please don’t tell my mom I called you a demon.”

Through tears of laughter, “No kid, I’m not telling your mom, just the internet.”

Hello, my name is Miranda. I’m not a demon or a mermaid but damn what a grand way to start the day.

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