I’ve moved to Seattle! I took a job as a 9th and 10th grade ELA teacher and boy has my life done a total 180 in a short time. This seems to be a theme in my life. When big changes happen, they happen overnight and I’m always left feeling a bit out of helium. This is the third time in eleven years where I’ve moved because of work on less than a week’s notice.  This is not a bad thing, change doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Often it’s a good thing. An active choice I make. I like to believe I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I landed an apartment at a reasonable rate in a huge city in less than a week, where this is all basically unheard of. If I wasn’t supposed to be here, I don’t think everything would have fallen into place the way it did.

So what now? This small-town girl has moved to a city for the first time in her adult life. I’m getting lost just about every time I leave the house for anywhere that isn’t work. I spent an extra forty minutes on the road today after a couple of wrong turns while trying to donate boxes of stuff to the thrift store. I was feeling super amazing about all the donations, clearing clutter or things I no longer need… that was until I realized I donated an otherwise useless stereo to the thrift store that I’d forgotten I used for my record player. Looks like I’ll be sorting out another way to play my records.

Work has been, challenging. I’m used to a specific way of doing things and I’ve learned that the way I was taught isn’t universal. I thrive in environments where things are organized and completed a specific way. It’s been a bit of a learning curve to adapt to both a new way of doing things in a new environment that isn’t as organized as I’m used to. Tomorrow I meet my students for the first time. This is what I’ve been holding out for. This is why I moved here. I moved here because I want to make a diffrence. I want my words to impact the people around me in a positive way. I might not become published again any time soon but I can make a difference in other ways. I can make a difference in small ways with every decision I make. Ultimately, it was one of the reasons I took the job and uprooted my life. I may not know what I want to do be when I grow up, but I know the impact I want to make. That has to count for something.

So how is life otherwise? I’ve spent my days at work, planing, getting my classroom together, learning new procedures, and navigating a whole new environment. After work, I spend my time unpacking, dropping boxes off at the thrift store, creating a home in a small basement apartment, visiting with old friends I haven’t spent nearly enough time with over the years, and enjoying moments with someone who makes me feel safe, makes me laugh till my side hurts, and lets me be me in every way. I feel incredibly lucky to be where I am right now, in this exact moment. I’m tired all the time. Like…  my head was pounding today, I didn’t sleep to save my life, and I ordered takeout because cooking was going to take too much energy.

I’m exhausted.

But I’m happy.

I can’t wait till I finish unpacking and I can finally breathe at home and focus my attention other places, like writing, reading, basically anything that doesn’t involve sorting the tons a crap I own. I don’t think I ever quite moved from the three-bedroom home into the lofted studio, I skipped a couple of cleanup steps before it all went into storage. Fast forward and it’s been more than five years since I’ve seen most of this stuff. Turns out, I don’t even want a lot of it. Thus all the trips to the thrift store. I’ve been unloading anything I can’t remember owning and a bunch of other stuff I don’t remember even liking. Weird how we exchange our lives for crap.

I’d like my next move to be a forever move. I think if I put that out into the universe, maybe it could happen. Someday, I’d like to own my own place. I’d like to make memories where I can tell stories about the scares my home has fifteen years after their making. I’d like to call somewhere home that doesn’t involve a landlord who dictates my goings-on.

Universe, listen up. I’d like my next move to be the forever move. Just so we’re clear.

Happy Back to School

M