A fellow blogger posted this picture. I read it and started to cry… I think I’ve been a bit on the emotional side today. But to say it hit home is putting it lightly. I guess recently I’ve been wondering if starting over in my thirties was the wrong decision? If I decided I wanted a family, am I already too old? What if I never figure it all out? What if I always feel like I’m just a little lost? Does anyone actually know what it feels like to not feel lost? Or is that just me? The anxiety bitch has been hanging around. Unfortunate she’s a bit loud and I’m just a bit too tired to ignore her today.
I just keep reminding myself it’s all an adjustment. It will get better. It will get easier. While there are a lot of things I hate about where I’m at, there are things I love. Those are things I need to keep reminding myself about.
I don’t always know if I’m making the right choices. I don’t always know if I’m fucking things up. Hindsight has always been 20:20. I guess the only thing I can do is to keep trying. To keep my chin up and move through the motions. Because there are still a lot of things I love. I need to remember that and I need to focus my attention there. On all the little things that make me happy.
All the reasons to smile.
It’s nice to be reminded that even if I don’t have all the answers, it’s okay. That it might all work out. That just because I’m starting over doesn’t mean I’m starting at the bottom. I’m not too old for anything. I’ve got this.
I’ve got this.
I’ve got this.