On Saying Goodbye to Old Apartments

My dude moved out of his apartment today. It’s been a long process over the course of a few weeks as moving often is. But this evening we said the big goodbye to his apartment on the north end. I know he has far more to be sentimental about but I’m still a bit sad. I know it’s only four walls and a balcony (I refuse to go because they scare me as a rule). But all the same, I will miss it.

This apartment is where we shared our first kiss. We were watching The Hulk, and he put his arm around me, all smooth. He leaned in and needless to say, I don’t remember much of that movie. But I remember finally getting this kiss I’d wanted for weeks. I remember the butterflies in my stomach and the way he made me feel safe all at the same time.

This apartment is the first place he cooked for me. For most, this might be a small thing, but for me and all my food allergies, this is a huge feat. He took a chance, with a mental list of the things I couldn’t have, and he cooked for me. Many have tried and nearly all fail. My dude didn’t fail. In fact, he’s quite talented in the kitchen, and he’s considerate of my needs every single time. We sat in the living room, both still a bit awkward, and we ate the best chicken parmesan I’ve ever had.

This apartment is where I fell in love with him. I suppose it could have happened anywhere, but it didn’t. Countless conversations that morphed days into long nights. Endless snuggles. It’s where he taught me how to solder and where I learned about 3D printing. Between those walls, we talked about life and books and the way the world works. I have dozens of warm fuzzy memories.

This apartment is where I learned to be comfortable in my own skin outside of my comfort zone. It was the first place that felt like home in years. I know it wasn’t necessarily the apartment but the person in it. It was still my home away from home. The place I felt most safe in this city of ever-flowing and changing energy.

I will miss the place that played host to my emotional growth and which holds so many memories in its walls. I know it’s just an apartment. I know it holds far more sentimental value for him. But it will forever be the place where I fell in love with the man in my life.

I will miss it.

I already do.

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