On Vagina Vases

DSC_1095 2We’d been dating about two months when my love printed me the first 3D gift he’d ever given me. I’ve received several over the last year but, the first was a vase. Together we picked through various designs and, this was the one I settled on. It was so unique and, I assumed the design must have taken forever to create. Red is one of my top three favorite colors *rainbow, being the first*.

I watched it in fascination while it was being printed. I have video clips on my phone. It warmed my heart to know we’d created this together.  I thought… still think, it’s lovely. The design is intricate and stable.

I kept this gift to myself for a couple of weeks and then decided I would take the vase and my raccoon on a photoshoot. When I post pictures of Vicent Cheese, he steals the limelight every time. But then something silly happened. I was bombarded with private messages from friends.

“Nice vagina vase”

“Do you see a vagina as well?”

“You picked out a vagina?! I didn’t think you swang that way.”


At first, I fought it. I dug my heels into the ground and stood tall. “It’s not a vagina vase! I don’t know how *that’s* what you took away from this beautiful moment. Perv!”

This, of course, this attitude only prompted more pokes from people closest to me. “Okay, Miranda. It’s not a vagina vase…Whatever you need to tell yourself.”

Last night I was taking photos. I was lying flat on my mattress, trying to capture an angle of something hanging above my bed. The view at which I gaze upon these flags. I raised my camera left and snapped this picture. It was a spur of the moment thought. When I played the image back to myself, I saw it. There, plain as day, was the vagina vase.

Fucking vagina vase.

Honestly, I laughed a lot.

Proudly on my bedside table, sits a vagina vase. My love made it for me and it makes me smile. In it, a solitary pink flower blooms forever.

2 thoughts on “On Vagina Vases

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