For the first time in six months, I feel genuinely good. I feel positive about who I am and where I am emotionally. I feel comfortable in my own skin again. I don’t feel stuck in my head. Dare I say, I feel a bit of peace. The good side of being human. I don’t think I could admit it to myself at the time, but there were things wrong for a while. Letting the past go is the best decision for me. Through this process, I have fallen back in love with art and creating. I’ve been writing again, something that has been lacking in my life this past year. Most recently, I’ve been writing poetry based on Tarot. It’s been an incredibly exciting process. Maybe one day, it could help others learn more about each of the cards. Or just offer a different view. I don’t know, but I’m enjoying it either way. I’ve been considering turning my oracle deck into a full Tarot. It would need some reworking, and I don’t know if it’s possible, but I’m going to take a hard look at it this weekend, especially with one of my test decks coming in the mail on Monday. I’ve even been researching how to submit it to publishers properly.
I’ve officially become a COVID unemployment statistic. I have faith that the universe is just making way for something that inspires me. Don’t get me wrong, I’d happily take back my job, but I recognize the opportunity for something new. I’m not worried yet. I’m going to continue to look for more work and really use the extra time to be as creative as possible. Who knows, maybe it means leaving the city for something smaller. Maybe it means sticking it out here. Only time will tell.
I’m ready for new and renewed friendships. COVID makes this a bit complicated, but I also know there are safe ways to do this. It’s the need for not just fresh air but for the next phase. I don’t know what the universe has in store, but I’m primed and ready. I look to the stars and know that I am safe, I am loved, and I am worthy.
I hope you are all hanging in there. Just keep striving to be the best version of yourself. Reach out if you need an ear in the void. It’s vast, and I understand the feeling all too well.