On Bathrooms

I spent sometime organizing my notes and stumbled upon some true gold. This took place when I was teaching 11th grade American Literature.


I look up from my screen, to the knock on the door. The class is working quietly and one student has been gone for a solid twenty minutes.

I open the door and raise an eyebrow.

“I got caught in the bathroom,” Jay says.

“Clearly, you were gone a while,”I say taking a breath ready to lay into him about why I was going to revoke his bathroom pass.

“Listen,” Jay starts, “Here’s what happened. I’m at the urinal and there are three empty ones to my left. This kid comes in and picks the urinal next to me. He looks at me and goes, ‘hows your day?'” Jay throws his arms out to the sky and as look of pure horror crosses his face.

I couldn’t help it, I started to laugh. He was so animated. All I could do was nod for him to continue.

“Dude! You don’t do that! Why?! Just why?!” Jay has disrupted the entire class. Every student burst into laughter. Especially the dudes.

I was no exception. “So what did you do?” I ask.

Jay takes an exaggerated breath and puts his hands in his pockets. “Well, he was like twice my size, so I met his eyes and said, pretty good.

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